Destery Does Shopping
by Marionette008
Summary: Follow young Destery through the land of unknown (his street) to a magical kingdom (the store), what surprises await him. Read and find out. Basically it's exactly what the title says, but with a twist.


**Destery Does Shopping**

**A/N: Soo... Here I am, and here is a story that I came up with at 2 a.m. because I needed a presentable story for English class and everything else had a lot of cursing. Instead of deleting the curses I cane up with this. Now I don't usually write real people fiction but my inspiration for this one was Destery of DesandNat. No ship, this might qualify as crack. Thank God the professor didn't read it.  
It is jus what the title says. **

* * *

"Destery! Get down here; you need to go to the store!" Destery 's mum shouted from the kitchen.

"BUT MOM, I'M PLAYING A POPULAR ONLINE GAME, I CAN'T PAUSE IT!" He shouted from his lair, also known as his room.

"GET YOUR BEHIND DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'M SHUTTING OFF YOUR WI-FI!" Mrs. Smith yelled at her son.

In a matter of seconds Destery came running down, his hair askew and with only one sneaker on.

"Mooom," He whined, "I had to quit the game when it was beginning to get intense, I'm going to get banned if they report me!"

"I have no idea what you just said, young man. Now go buy some milk and bread." She said as she shoved money into his hand and pushed him out the back door.

"Well might as well make this fun," Destery said to himself. He pulled out a bandanna from his pocket, tied it around his head and started running towards the fence. He jumped the said fence and found himself in the neighbors yard.  
Old Mrs. Peterson and her rabid cats.  
Or so he assumed it was cats.  
There was a faint growling coming from behind Destery, the growling grew louder as he stood there stock still.  
"Ah, Old Cujo, be a good puppy and-" Destery turned around "- Ah snap." A huge, drooling Mastiff was standing behind him. His teeth bared and his paws, which were the size of dinner plates, were dug into the dirt- ready to break into a sprint at the smallest movement of his pray, which happened to be Destery at the moment.  
"Now let's be civil about this-" Destery broke into a sprint across the grass and the dirt; he was literally running for his life. More or less.  
The dog was hot on his heels as he jumped the fence at the other side of the yard.  
"Ha haa, got you good you stupid mutt!" Destery stuck his tongue out at the dog that was barking aggressively from behind the fence.

He found himself on the street that lead to the store, the final destination.  
He preferred to think that it was smooth sailing from now on, but he was wrong.

A band of fruit wielding ninjas jumped from out of the bushes, they were dressed in black and armed. With fruit.

"What is this sorcery?" Destery gasped.

"..."

"Zelda, I'm coming!" Destery screamed as he picked up a stick and charged the mysterious men.  
He had oranges thrown at him, bananas hitting his head ever so often and even a watermelon that missed his chest by an inch.  
"You will never take me alive!" He smacked the closest man to him with the stick, the man dropped his weapon- a kiwi.  
"Take that, you kiwi!"  
He got an apple to the head the next moment and he found himself lying on the floor seeing little birds above his head.  
"Hey, look, a robin!" He pointed to the sky and as the ninjas looked at the empty vastness above them Destery made a break for it.  
"Fools!" He shouted as the men looked around confused, not really getting what happened.

He ran as fast as he could, his feet were moving so fast he could barely see them.  
"Gotta go faster, faster!" He started singing.  
He got stopped by the police for speeding, but they couldn't believe he was running that fast and thought that the speed-o-meter was broken. They let him off with a warning.  
Destery's heart was beating so fast he thought it was entering Lord of the Dance.

"Time to continue our quest." He holstered his faithful stick named Plank, and moved on.

He could see the store; he could feel the victory and taste the bread and milk.  
He was so close; it would be a shame if someone... attacked him...

Suddenly, a wild fish monster with a crown on its head jumped out of the sewer.  
It made a disturbed sound and splashed around on the ground.  
A little box appeared to the right of Destery's vision field.

_'__Magikarp used splash, it's not effective at all.'_

Destery raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, "What are you doing, fish?"  
The fish charged at him but Destery rolled out of the way because the fish was too slow.

_'__Magikarp used tackle, miss!' _The box now said.

Destery rolled his eyes. He took out his stick and hit the fish on the head.  
The fish's eyes turned into little x letters and it was gone with a flash of light.

Destery sprinted to the store, he busted open the door with his foot like a boss and demanded some milk, like a boss.

"I demand some milk!"

"You want some fresh milk or some bottled milk?" The man with a straw hat that was sitting behind the counter with his feet up on the cash register asked.

"Fresh milk?" Destery questioned.

The man nodded his head towards the purple and white cow outside the shop.  
"Got some chocolate milk too." He said.

Destery shook his head, "Bottled milk should do fine, and some bread if you can."

"Well kid, go and get it yourself. I'm busy flipping through this tractor magazine." The man shooed him away rudely.

Destery scoffed, "What a weirdo." He fixed his hair in the refrigerator's door before he took out the milk and moved to the self check out. He looked into the mirror and checked himself out. '_Niice', _he thought.  
He skipped towards the register, "Here villager, have these coins while I take this milk and bread."  
He walked out of the store while the man shouted '_Yehaw! I'm rich!'_

He decided it would be safest to climb down into the sewers and head on home.  
So he did just that, and a few short minutes after he was standing on his front porch.

"Mum, I'm home!"

Mrs. Smith came out with a pie and a grin, "Just in time honey, the pie is ready. How was your trip?"

Destery removed the bandanna from his head and looked at his mum with a smile, "Business as usual."

*Wink*

**Beware, this might be a series. **


End file.
